"Talking is good." It was all she wanted. They could negotiate a solution, figure it out as they went. If he was willing to be patient, so was she. Amber was always determined to overcome her problems, and this was no exception.
"Was that it?" Amber laughed with relief. It had nothing to do with her. "Oh god, no, I've never let anyone do something to me I didn't want them to." Except for tonight. She propped herself up on her elbow, smiling warmly down at him, even if he couldn't see. It hadn't been about her. Not really. Thank goodness. One of her hands squeezed his back, the other lifted to his chin and traced it with her fingertips. "That was sweet of you. To get so angry at the thought." Unnecessary, too. One more facet of his gentlemanly behavior asserting itself to protect her in ways she didn't need. But she was starting to figure out that the chivalrous attitude was how he expressed affection. And no one-- outside of Amber's family-- would've really cared if she’d been mistreated. Her heart stuttered, that he’d been so affected.
"Eric." Amber didn't know how else to say this, so she'd have to use the words in her head, in her heart. "I really like you. And you don't have to reply to that, if you don't want to." Tonight’s events had given her a clue of just how much he cared about her, even if he was terrible at putting those feelings into words. "I'm new at this, I've never-- really had a long-term relationship." She closed her eyes. It had never mattered before, because after the first failures, she hadn’t wanted anyone. A partner seemed like one more anchor to sink her down. But now she felt the weight of her amateurism. Maybe she’d keep screwing up with Eric because she’d never used training wheels before, and now, inexperienced, she was trying to ride a two-wheeled bike. Uphill.
She lied back down, her head resting once more on his shoulder. Exhaustion suddenly washed over her. The whole day was taking its toll. If what happened before had been tiring, this conversation was downright draining. Discovering a limit and confessing to so-far hidden pieces of herself was wringing her out like staying awake for forty-eight hours never had. Despite all the things she wanted to talk about with Eric and the anxiety taking root in her stomach over how much she could still mess up, sleepiness was overtaking her. Amber kissed his cheek and tried to wrap the discussion up, for now. They could go over more later, when they weren’t so tired. When they weren’t so wary and worn down they whispered like field mice. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m starting to realize I’ve got a lot to learn. But I’m good at catching up.” Her eyes fluttered and her hand holding Eric’s relaxed. It’d feel so good to fall asleep here, with him besides her. Her breathing evened out, slow and steady.
no subject
"Was that it?" Amber laughed with relief. It had nothing to do with her. "Oh god, no, I've never let anyone do something to me I didn't want them to." Except for tonight. She propped herself up on her elbow, smiling warmly down at him, even if he couldn't see. It hadn't been about her. Not really. Thank goodness. One of her hands squeezed his back, the other lifted to his chin and traced it with her fingertips. "That was sweet of you. To get so angry at the thought." Unnecessary, too. One more facet of his gentlemanly behavior asserting itself to protect her in ways she didn't need. But she was starting to figure out that the chivalrous attitude was how he expressed affection. And no one-- outside of Amber's family-- would've really cared if she’d been mistreated. Her heart stuttered, that he’d been so affected.
"Eric." Amber didn't know how else to say this, so she'd have to use the words in her head, in her heart. "I really like you. And you don't have to reply to that, if you don't want to." Tonight’s events had given her a clue of just how much he cared about her, even if he was terrible at putting those feelings into words. "I'm new at this, I've never-- really had a long-term relationship." She closed her eyes. It had never mattered before, because after the first failures, she hadn’t wanted anyone. A partner seemed like one more anchor to sink her down. But now she felt the weight of her amateurism. Maybe she’d keep screwing up with Eric because she’d never used training wheels before, and now, inexperienced, she was trying to ride a two-wheeled bike. Uphill.
She lied back down, her head resting once more on his shoulder. Exhaustion suddenly washed over her. The whole day was taking its toll. If what happened before had been tiring, this conversation was downright draining. Discovering a limit and confessing to so-far hidden pieces of herself was wringing her out like staying awake for forty-eight hours never had. Despite all the things she wanted to talk about with Eric and the anxiety taking root in her stomach over how much she could still mess up, sleepiness was overtaking her. Amber kissed his cheek and tried to wrap the discussion up, for now. They could go over more later, when they weren’t so tired. When they weren’t so wary and worn down they whispered like field mice. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m starting to realize I’ve got a lot to learn. But I’m good at catching up.” Her eyes fluttered and her hand holding Eric’s relaxed. It’d feel so good to fall asleep here, with him besides her. Her breathing evened out, slow and steady.