No, fuck no. Amber wanted to push him away, and she put her palms to his chest, ready to shove, because he couldn't fucking do this, he couldn't treat her like a princess one second, freeze up and yell at her the next, and then fucking envelope her like that'd make up for that moment of pure asshole. Because he was still an asshole and he still hurt her and if he could change his feelings that fast, flipping them as easy as a dime, then she didn't want it, she didn't want any of it. He could go find himself some other girl who'd simper along with that volatile behavior, and fuck her, and fuck himself. Amber did pull away, and drew in a huff of air when Eric refused to go along with it, insisting on closing himself in on her. Fuck that. It was against her will that he spoke to her, explaining himself. He was gentle, and her bitterness at hearing that caressing tone when she was so angry made her eyes sting. Fuck. He couldn't do this to her. She wasn't-- he had to stop treating her like she was fragile.
And then. He called her that stupid word again, worried, upset that she was upset, and it was dark, she couldn't see his face, but he held her so carefully, cradling, practically. Even his breath was tentative, as if he might blow her away. Tears spilled from Amber's eyes before she'd realized they'd built up. Fuck. And what did it mean, that he cared about her? How much? How? Like, he'd be sorry if she vanished, but he'd forget her when the next bit of news came in? Or was it more? How much more? And then it was honey, yet another word she'd never thought to apply to herself, and it hurt to hear him say it like he meant it, because how could he do this to her, yet another fucking ridiculous endearment. As if the first hadn't caused enough damage. Now she cried in earnest. Damn it, she hadn't cried since she'd been rejected for that fellowship at Mayo. Amber covered her face, hiding. "Fuck you, Eric." She said it with a sob, unable to stop that sound. "Oh, god, fuck you--" And the next thing she knew, she was clutching him, arms squeezed around his neck, her cheek to his, because she was mortified, because she couldn't bear if it he turned away from her again. She just didn't know how to believe him, at this moment, from now on.
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And then. He called her that stupid word again, worried, upset that she was upset, and it was dark, she couldn't see his face, but he held her so carefully, cradling, practically. Even his breath was tentative, as if he might blow her away. Tears spilled from Amber's eyes before she'd realized they'd built up. Fuck. And what did it mean, that he cared about her? How much? How? Like, he'd be sorry if she vanished, but he'd forget her when the next bit of news came in? Or was it more? How much more? And then it was honey, yet another word she'd never thought to apply to herself, and it hurt to hear him say it like he meant it, because how could he do this to her, yet another fucking ridiculous endearment. As if the first hadn't caused enough damage. Now she cried in earnest. Damn it, she hadn't cried since she'd been rejected for that fellowship at Mayo. Amber covered her face, hiding. "Fuck you, Eric." She said it with a sob, unable to stop that sound. "Oh, god, fuck you--" And the next thing she knew, she was clutching him, arms squeezed around his neck, her cheek to his, because she was mortified, because she couldn't bear if it he turned away from her again. She just didn't know how to believe him, at this moment, from now on.