eric_foreman: Eric Foreman from House - thoughtful (thoughtful)
eric_foreman ([personal profile] eric_foreman) wrote in [community profile] alwaysright 2010-01-05 11:38 am (UTC)

Foreman braced his elbows on the arms of his chair and shifted his weight, but he didn't let go of Amber's hand. She'd answered, without a whole bunch of angry bullshit. He'd hoped that maybe, somehow, she'd come this far without being the primary cause of a death, and that was why she could think that being affected when it happened meant you weren't cut out for your job. But the fact that she was telling him, talking to him, made it easier for him to push away the feeling that she was accusing him of being weak. House had made that joke the first day Foreman had shown up with Cuddy. Made a snide reference to Lupe. Foreman doubted House even remembered her name, but he wouldn't be House if he didn't remember the power that case had to hurt Foreman. House knew how much Foreman hated that moment, and he used it like that. Amber had done it too...maybe not directly, but playing on Thirteen's guilt amounted to the same thing.

It mattered to him that Amber couldn't hold his gaze. That her eyes brightened even as she tossed excuses and explanations at him why she shouldn't feel anything. Why no one should feel anything. All one big defense. She said she hadn't been haunted, but she remembered. She felt something. "Learning from it doesn't mean getting away from it," Foreman said. The woman he'd treated at Mercy, his only case there: saving her hadn't brought back Lupe. He could save every damn patient who came into the hospital and it wouldn't bring her back to life. And yeah, that haunted him, not in any spooky, childish way, but because it was real. It was on him.

He squeezed Amber's hand, though, and took another look around the café. It was getting more crowded, and probably the people lining up would appreciate another clear table. He wasn't angry now, not at Amber for what she'd done to Thirteen, and not because she'd implied, knowingly or not, that he was weak. The way he saw it, House had given Amber that flower as a message to Thirteen, not to let her feelings get in the way of her job. She could have them, she just wasn't allowed to let them show where House could see. Amber kept her job for the diagnosis, and Thirteen learned to pretend better. And that was the best Foreman could hope for. "Next time, play your joke on House. He'll like it if you can trick him." And House would see it as a completely logical forfeit if he got hurt. All part of the game. "You want to get out of here?"

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