Amber didn't appreciate being told that she was wrong to keep sending the message that he was wrong in all these ways she didn't really think she was, but telling him his impressions were wrong would only prove his point, so she bit back the defensiveness. Pushed it out and away. They were talking, that was all. It wasn't a fight and therefore no one had to win. She'd been letting him know what she wanted; now it was his turn. Putting it that way, it wasn't so hard to prevent herself from tensing up-- though another sip of wine helped with that too.
And so Amber listened, bending her arm to support her head against the palm of her hand. Her hair, loose, felt a bit brighter, caught in the reflection of the television's glow. For all that Eric was talking about how frustrated he was, he seemed so... good-natured about it. Like this was some amusing anecdote, funny and in the past tense. That made it easier to nod along. She didn't really agree with the part about who thought up what first, since it a question of feelings and not of originality, but they were just exchanging ideas. And he was right about her also wanting to relax with him.
Trust. It always came back to that. "Eric." Beneath that good humor of his was tiredness too. They'd meant to take a break, hadn't they? One hand holding her head, the other her wine glass, she couldn't touch him. She wanted to; having her thigh press against his wasn't enough. "When we left the hospital today, you said you were having a hard time trusting me. I want you to, and I want to trust you too." The wine glass was starting to get annoying and it was mostly empty anyway; Amber leaned over a moment to slide it onto the table. Looked back deep into his eyes. "I do trust you, I think." She took in a deep breath. "But I don't want to be pushed blind over a cliff either; let me feel this out, okay?" Amber did trust Eric to respect her wishes as far as sex went; he'd been reliable on that much. The problem was how close she was willing to let him get at any given moment, which changed depending on more factors than Amber could helpfully illustrate through flowcharts.
"I want to hold you too," she said and, lifting a suggestive eyebrow, "Speaking of which, we could be doing that now." If he wanted her to tell him explicitly what she wanted, there it was.
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And so Amber listened, bending her arm to support her head against the palm of her hand. Her hair, loose, felt a bit brighter, caught in the reflection of the television's glow. For all that Eric was talking about how frustrated he was, he seemed so... good-natured about it. Like this was some amusing anecdote, funny and in the past tense. That made it easier to nod along. She didn't really agree with the part about who thought up what first, since it a question of feelings and not of originality, but they were just exchanging ideas. And he was right about her also wanting to relax with him.
Trust. It always came back to that. "Eric." Beneath that good humor of his was tiredness too. They'd meant to take a break, hadn't they? One hand holding her head, the other her wine glass, she couldn't touch him. She wanted to; having her thigh press against his wasn't enough. "When we left the hospital today, you said you were having a hard time trusting me. I want you to, and I want to trust you too." The wine glass was starting to get annoying and it was mostly empty anyway; Amber leaned over a moment to slide it onto the table. Looked back deep into his eyes. "I do trust you, I think." She took in a deep breath. "But I don't want to be pushed blind over a cliff either; let me feel this out, okay?" Amber did trust Eric to respect her wishes as far as sex went; he'd been reliable on that much. The problem was how close she was willing to let him get at any given moment, which changed depending on more factors than Amber could helpfully illustrate through flowcharts.
"I want to hold you too," she said and, lifting a suggestive eyebrow, "Speaking of which, we could be doing that now." If he wanted her to tell him explicitly what she wanted, there it was.